ADOPTIVE PARENTS INFORMATION:
ANSWERS TO ADOPTIVE PARENTS FAQs

• How do I start the process of adopting a child through a private attorney?
The first step for adoptive parents is to find an adoption lawyer who offers not only a legal and ethical adoption, but who demonstrates compassion and concern for them and the birth mother. Steven and his staff work very hard to see that birth mothers receive quality prenatal care and counseling. An adoptive parent himself, Steven is at ease with adoptive parents. They share their backgrounds and dreams with Steven, and he offers them histories and backgrounds on birth parents likely to be a good match for them. Once adoptive parents and the birth mother agree, the adoption process begins. (Steven also works with adoptive parents who already have a birth mother.)

• What am I entitled to know about the birth mother and the infant?
Before adoptive parents commit to an adoption, Steven will give them a social background and medical history of the birth mother and her family. He will provide a medical history of the father, if possible. He will also provide adoptive parents with any prenatal records if they exist. Once adoptive parents commit to an adoption, they will have access to prenatal and medical records for the infant and birth mother. Steven keeps adoptive parents informed of the baby’s developments on a regular basis. He also understands adoption can be a confusing and emotional time and is available by phone and e-mail when his clients have additional questions or just need reassurance.

• How much contact will I have with the birth mother?
Every situation is different. A birth mother will let her attorney know how much contact she wants. Adoptive parents should express their preference from the beginning. Steven and his staff will do their best to have adoptive parents work with a birth mother who wants about the same level of contact. While adoptive parents can have a say, in rare cases, birth mothers insist on privacy and want no contact. Some birth mothers will talk only by phone to the adoptive parents but most will meet the adoptive parents in person. Often a birth mother and adoptive parents will go out to lunch and share stories, discovering much in common. Steven encourages the parties to form a close bond, often opening up the lines of communication by passing messages through him. Some eventually form such a close tie that the adoptive parents attend the birth.

• What is an “open adoption?”
As above, every situation is different. Open adoptions are a shift from the closed adoptions of the past, where neither adoptive parent nor birth mother knew anything about the other. But the term is often exaggerated. In rare cases, adoptive parents and birth mothers share full names and addresses and remain in each other’s lives after the child’s birth. Most relationships are far less intrusive: parties talk on the phone and meet, forming a supportive bond throughout the adoption process. The boundaries of an open adoption are always set by the adoptive parents and the birth mother.

• How long does an open adoption take?
In most cases, Steven achieves placement of the infant in your home in under one year.

• How long does a birth mother have to change her mind?
While state laws vary, birth mothers have until some time after the birth to change their mind. This can happen, disruption can occur. Steven and his staff are dedicated to ensuring that the adoptive parents continue to pursue -- and achieve – their dreams of a family. Before adoptive parents consent to an adoption, Steven ensures they understand when a birth mother’s decision to place her child becomes irrevocable.

• What about gay adoption?
Steven treats gay adoptions the same as all other adoptions. He has completed many, many adoptions for all types of adoptive parents. He’s also highly experienced in single parent adoptions and stepparent adoptions.

• What kind of a person places a child for adoption?
During the last 20 years, Steven has met all kinds of people who have chosen adoption for their children. They may be very young or mature. They may be single or married with other children. Often they are struggling economically. They have only one thing in common. In each case of adoption, a birth mother or birth parents have made a difficult, but caring, choice for a child they love. They’re hoping you can provide for the child in ways that they can’t.

• What are some helpful adoption books or resources?
Whether you are looking to adopt a baby, you’re already participating in an adoption process, or you’ve just finalized your baby adoption, Steven recommends Adoptive Families Magazine and Tapestry Books as excellent resources for adoption information. Links to these adoption resources and additional information about them are on the right sidebar of this page.